Portsmouth Gets All Fucked Up on Halloween

You know what time of year it is Portsmouth. Time to get scared! That’s right, it’s Halloween: the only holiday for cool people and sex havers. Fuck Christmas, fuck Memorial Day, fuck the Fourth of July. Halloween is pound-for-pound the most ferocious holiday in...

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Thirsty Moose Website Probably Hacked

  The Thirsty Moose website has been converted into a pornographic site allowing locals to meet up with 18 year old girls who are ready to bang. Thirsty Moose owner, Joe Kelley swears it wasn’t him.   “I swear to God, guys, this was not me,” swore Kelley, like we...

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Steven Ruins Vibe at Vital Design

The vibe at one of New Hampshire’s fastest growing companies, Vital Design, died this Monday, and it’s all Steven Buzzell’s fault.  After years of careful culture cultivation and expert workplace vibe enhancement, everything came crashing down after Vital hired the...

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Friendly Toast Changes Name, Logo

After more than a dozen negative reviews across web and social media indicating that the staff at the Friendly Toast in downtown Portsmouth NH was now too friendly, the ownership at the iconic restaurant decided to rebrand. The restaurant revealed the new name in a...

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The Tug Hires Basically The Avengers But With Lawyers

The Tug, a subsidiary of HarborCorp, has retained a team of lawyers that makes every other group of lawyers look like a flock of dumb assholes, sources said Thursday. The ultra-expensive power move comes as a surprise considering the broad Constitutional freedoms the...

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Actors in Play Praise Play that They’re in

The play, which you’re going to have to see, is at least two hours long, and is generating a level of excitement from the cast that will lead to truly disastrous social consequences should you choose not to attend. “No really, I know I say every show I’m involved with...

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