In a gesture to increase public awareness about the necessity for transparency in government affairs, Portsmouth’s Assistant Mayor Jim Splaine has had a camera permanently installed in his left eye socket. The high resolution, bluetooth enabled device will live stream his every waking moment to subscribers via a new app, available for free through the City’s website.
““Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty” Splaine wrote in a post to his Facebook page late Saturday morning. “My hope is to demystify the inner workings of our Council and the governing bodies with whom I interact on a daily basis, many of which continually push for too much secrecy in our dealings.” Citing his desire for increased disclosure of the City’s often confidential “closed-door” negotiations, the self-proclaimed whistleblower wrote, “I try to lead by example, and hope this step might help to keep all the work of my esteemed colleagues above board and out in the open.”
The high resolution device, installed by Jess at Hobo’s Tattoo’s at their Daniel Street studio, will deliver sharp, professional 1080p60 fully immersive wide-angle video, and includes a dual-mic system to ensure great sound quality in recording even the most reserved of Council whisperings. “This is by far the most complicated work I’ve done, here at Hobo’s.” She said, “But I think this, paired with the GPS tracker we’ve embedded in Jim’s hand and that Fitbit thing he’s got pushing all his medical data out to the app, we’ve got pretty much our first ever fully monitored, fully accountable politician.” smiling, she continued, “We call him Robocouncillor. He’s the future of local government. It’s pretty awesome. Some of my best work.”
Through the system, Splaine was overheard to have said to Mayor Jack Blalock at a meeting over coffee at Popovers, “I was never really into the body-mod thing, before, you know? I got the nipples pierced in the 90s, of course, but everyone was doing that, then. This is pretty exciting though. A little itchy.”
Blalock can be seen on the video stream laughing as he watched himself through Splaine’s new prosthetic on his own phone. “That’s great, Jim. You keep being you.” he said, as he put his coffee in a to go cup and left before they sat down.
Contacted for further statement regarding this new technology and it’s potential impact on the operation of city government, Blalock appeared unconcerned. “Jim wants to go all ‘Mad-Eye Moody’ on us? Whatever. I’ll tell you, the amount of dark shit we get done in this town that Jim Splaine isn’t even privy to would shock you. If this thing makes him feel better, I say bring it on. All praise to our dark master.”