Jim Splaine Chased Through Streets by Hooded Assassins

Jim Splaine Chased Through Streets by Hooded Assassins

City Councilor Jim Splaine was spotted running through Downtown streets pursued by multiple masked assassins in the early morning hours on Tuesday, sources say. Splaine was supposed to be meeting a double agent who had infiltrated THE HELMSMEN, the secret cabal of...
Proposed Watering Ban Angers Citizens

Proposed Watering Ban Angers Citizens

A watering ban proposed by city officials has caused some Portsmouth residents to finally start giving a shit about the city’s water supply. The proposed ban comes on the heels of a particularly dry season which has lead to restrictions or bans in 115 different...